New Offering from Off the Top: Offshore Politicians!

We've listened to the voice of ordinary Americans, we've felt their pain, and we have an answer. Millions of you are frustrated with overpaid politicians who seem more interested in helping foreigners than in helping Americans. Your politicians seem to be looking out for the interests of illegal immigrants, Arab sheikhs and oil barons, third world nations, and so forth, and it's costing you billions of dollars, lots of US jobs, and even American lives. Some of these politicians take huge bribes from foreign groups like the government of Red China or Arab sheikhs, serving as middlemen between the United States and foreign interests. And we're all sick it! We must put an end to this wasteful and corrupt practice of politicians as middlemen for foreign powers!
Now, with Off the Top's exclusive Offshore Politicians service, you can CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMEN and GET THIS CORRUPTION OFF OUR SHORES! When your state, city, or nation signs a contract for our Offshore Politicians service, we will immediately downsize the targeted politicians and replace them with low-cost offshore politicians who can directly represent the same foreign powers "in broad daylight" without the need for corrupt shenanigans and secretive deals.

Your offshore politicians will work less than a tenth of what onshore politicians demand, and will still feel filthy rich. We eliminate the wasteful and distracting election process, and instead simply appoint qualified representatives on the same relatively random basis that we use to select offshore executives for companies.

Plus, there is an added bonus! Because your offshore politicians will be scattered over the globe, communication between politicians will be hindered--not to mention the language barrier that comes from their puzzling varieties of English (though you can receive fluent English speakers for an extra fee, if you really need it). Communication barriers means less conniving among politicians, less corruption, and less tinkering with federal law. If enough states use our service, Congress may never be able to raise taxes again! This means more money in the pockets of every American!

Off the Top, Inc. proudly offers placement for offshore executives and offshore politicians. Working together, we can make the world a better place by taking a little off the top. Take a load off your company and keep a load in your vaults by taking a little "Off the Top."

OffShoreExecutive.com - New! A sister organization working closely with Off the Top to save your bottom line. Other businesses would denounce the competition, but since there is more than enough executive offshoring waiting to be done, we welcome it.

Pointless, Inc. - an example of a misguided company that resfuses to offshore their CEO.
Beam back to Jeff Lindsay's planet

The Information Technology Professionals Association of America - a group concerned about exporting of US jobs.

Zazona.com - interesting materials about the H-1B visa program and the loss of American jobs.
List of J.L.'s humor pages


Index to all of J.L.'s pages